We all know how to make New Years Resolutions, you think of something that you want, a six-pack, give up a bad habit or learn a new skill and then announce it to your friends and family.
The trouble is humans are animals of habit, and as soon as we make a resolution, we soon find ourself walking past the Donut shop and grabbing a greasy bun without even thinking twice, it’s not until we’re halfway through eating it that we realise that we’ve broken our resolution and start to feel guilty for failing to create the life we dream of.
Habits are unconscious actions which we have very little control over. We can, however, reprogram our brain with a few simple steps and it doesn’t even have to be hard it’s a lot easier than you think!!
Find your Life Goals and Make them Stick
Below I’ve outlined the steps that will help you find your Life Goals and how you can make them become a reality!
Step one: Deep Dive on Your Life Goals
Choose your Life goals and what it is that you desire. Look at the different categories below and write down what comes to your head, don’t spend more than a couple of minutes on each group and don’t be afraid to dream big.
You don’t have to answer all the questions, they are just there to help you build a vision in your head of the type of life you dream of.
Your Relationship Goals…
What type of friends do you want to have?
What is your meaning of love?
Do you want one relationship, many or none?
Same-sex or opposite sex?
Do you want to see your friends and loved ones every day?
How do they help you grow?
Do you eat and party with your friends or go on holiday together or do you keep them separate?
What kind of characteristics do you want in a friend or lover, and what can you do to become a better friend yourself?
Get a picture in your head and write it down now move on to the next stage..
Your Health Goals…
How do you wake up feeling?
What type of food do you want to eat?
What exercise do you want to try?
Is it a group exercise or is it solo? Is it for a charity?
How do you want to look and feel?
How do you want to age?
What impact do you want your food to have on the planet and the animals?
Your Giving Goals…
Do you want to do volunteer work?
What skills do you have that you can give?
What things do you have that you can give to those in need?
Maybe you can blog or be making inspirational videos?
Can you give more?
Who can I give to?
Who can you help that doesn’t get help from others?
How can you make giving fun for everyone involved?
Your Adventure Goals…
Where do you want to go?
Whos inspired you?
What places do you want to go to, cities or forests?
Is it dangerous places or is it for history?
Do you travel by train or bus?
Do you stay in hotels or couch surf?
Is it every month, or every year?
Is it weekends or months at a time?
Who goes with you or is it on your own?
Your mind and spiritual goals…
What skills will help your other goals?
What do you want to learn for fun?
What style of learning do you enjoy?
What kind of people do you want to learn with?
What learning events do you want to attend?
What courses will help you reach your life goals?
What new ideas can you explore such as visualisation?
What other religious/ cultural ideas interest you?
What areas can you grow to help others?
How often can you meditate?
How often do you want to pray?
What does spiritual learning look like to you?
Do you want to learn more about energy or empathy?
What spiritual books, podcasts or courses do you want to learn from?
Who would you practise with?
Your Career Goals…
What is your vision for the next 5/10/20 years?
What does getting up currently feel like on a workday?
What is your job/business doing for the world?
What improvements can you add to your company?
What can you become great at?
Do you feel meaning in your work?
Do you feel fulfilled?
Could your skills help more people?
What does your perfect day look like?
Do you feel stuck?
What country/city would you like to work in?
Do you want to retire early or work in a job you love for as long as you can?
Do you want to run your own company?
Would it be a non-profit?
What is your mission?
Excellent, now that you have some and future visions written down its time to go to step 2, don’t worry if you have only a few here is where you look at them in more detail and start to break them down into a clear picture.
Step two: Add ‘so.’
Write down next to your goals the reason why you want to achieve them. Its always easier to stick to something if you know why you’re doing it, is part of a bigger dream or is it because you feel you should as your friends are doing it?
This step is crucial so take your time. Look at why you want it. I like to see if I can add a ‘so’ after the goal, this then gives you more clarity as to why you want to achieve that goal in the first place, from here you can decide if you want it or it was just a Bridge Goal towards a Life Goal.
Heres an example –
Your goal is to get a six-pack
so… you will be more attractive… so… you can find a romantic partner so… you can feel loved
now you see when you add ‘so’ you find that the goal of getting a six-pack is just a Bridge Goal, your real Life Goal is to find a partner or to find love more specifically.
Once you understand this, you can reverse engineer your goal and look at what you need to to do to find love.
Getting a six-pack won’t help if you only ever work out at home and don’t leave the house, you need to find an exercise class with lots of social events this will bring you closer to your real goal.
Or if you want to go even deeper maybe you need to sign up for a course on self-love, as being loved is the primary driver throughout the whole goal, and again who knows you might meet someone on the course and fall in love.
Or the course will give you the confidence to go out and meet someone who is far more genuine than a shallow partner who is only looking for someone with a six-pack.
Brilliant, I hope that helped you get some real clarity with your Life Goals, it’s important that you spent some time on the last couple of steps because your Life Goals will become a reality once you master your Daily Habits and will shape your future happiness.
Step 3: How to Create Daily Habits
Follow the three golden habit rules, and you will be on your way to creating the life you of your goals.
Be specific: Don’t just say I’m going to get healthy, instead commit to a specific action, such as I’m going to take the stairs instead of the lift when I get to work.
Tie it in: Use with an existing habit to help leverage the power you already have, so, for instance, every morning before you brush your teeth (a current habit) add drinking a pint of water. This way, the teeth brush will act as the trigger.
Plan to succeed: the new habit formation, its gonna take a couple of weeks for the habit to stick, so make it easier by putting up reminders in your home and on your phone.
Step 4: Write out the New You Story
Change your narrative– there’s a vast body of research that says that if you believe your self to be a particular type of person who behaves in a certain way that’s exactly what happens, its kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
For example, someone who labels themselves as an ex-smoker is far a fitness lover is far more likely to make it to the gym every day than someone who has a narrative of them selfs as a not very sporty couch potato.
Write down the narrative you want, and you will start to believe it, you see the more times you write it down or read it out loud, the more you are training your mind to believe and then create your new reality!
Please share this article if you found it useful, and don’t forget to download your Free copy of Empa7hy – The Success Magazine for a Heart-Centered life.